Not Again...

It's a damn cold night. The caresses of the cool breeze played over my face. It leaves me breathless. I'm standing on the bridge with my sisters but my mind is far away. Trying to figure out what life is all about. I see darkness. And it becomes mysterious when I start to feel that the one I want doesn't want me. I am waiting patiently for you. I thought that you will be here right now. However when I look back, there's nothing but the sound of the rain tapping on the ground.
My thoughts...
They ain't still.

My feelings...
They ain't the same.

My body...
It is not ME...

Am I too fat...??

Arggghh... I am so pissed off. Gosh. Look at me...!! Fat!! I have no idea why I worry so much. I already have a wonderful life. My boyfriend loves me a whole lot and my family adores me so much... I have all a girl wants yet I am still so particular with this. Appearance seems to have great significance in my life. You can call me biased but, I abso-freakin'-lutely think that appearance makes or breaks you. I am so damn annoyed whenever I look into the mirror and see the REAL me.

Am I too obsessed?

Appearance indirectly reflect one's personality. To be honest, it is really difficult to change my mentality. I totally agree that we can't judge a book with it's cover, yet I am still so fussy about my look. I think ALL girls will agree with me... Don't you??

My Best Friends...

Thank you for sharing my pain,
Although things would never change,
it helps to know you are near,
to bring me a little cheer.

Thank you...
For bringing me beautiful hues,
to refresh me like the morning dew.
The kind words you say,
brighten up my stormy days.
Please know you are appreciated,
for being there when I am hurt...

Speechless...

The sky is gloomy. Don't have the mood to go out. Sigh... I'm sitting down in my room and starting to dream. Reminiscing what to do with my life. Suddenly, Mom called. She sounded so depressed. I couldn't tell you why she felt that way. And I couldn't help her. I just watched her make the same mistakes again. I couldn't find the reasons why. She has been rejected by Dad and now she can't find what she has left behind. And she is confused. Don't know where she belongs now. With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes. Too many problems. My heart aches when she speaks about it. I just hear her without any voice. Speechless. Lost.

There are a lot of words that I wanted to shout out loud. And tell her how wrong is she. Hoping that she will realise her mistakes. But, I am just too weak. My fragile heart was broken before. And I don't think it could endure another pain. I am nobody to object her deeds. She's my Mom. No matter what happens, I can't change the fact. I love her very much.

I will remain silent. Give a voice of support to her. Never give up on her. A hurting mind in need of emotion. My unspoken words shall bury in here. And it will not jeopardize for what I am today. I will be Mom's beloved daughter now and forever...

Mon Amour...

The next person that I would like to introduce to you: Mr Henry Ong...
It had been almost half a year since we declared our relationship as a couple.
Hmm... Not bad... I am very proud to say that I am happy to share part of my life with him. He touches my heart without notice and brings sunshine to me. Nothing is greater than the rush that comes with his embrace. He is the only one who can make my heart beats faster and slower at the same time. From a very true friendship, we found each other as soul mates and move on into a deeper relationship. Dear Henry, welcome to my life......

Weird dream...

This morning I had a very weird dream. Actually I don't really want to talk about it again but I... Nah... Perhaps I just need to blog. This will make me feel better? I don't know. Let me try...

When I first enter university, I met a bunch of cool friends and I thought my uni life will be cool. However, things starts to turn the other way in second semester. People change a lot. So do I. Maybe I am too "kiasu". I didn't do well in my last exam and so, I forced myself to do better in the coming exam. I had a very stress time after that. I am not happy. I kept myself in my room everyday to study. Trying to find a better solution for my failure. No activities. No outings. I am strictly disciplined. But, this don't affect my relationship with my friends. We still have time to go lectures and do assignments together.

A very good friend of mine, change a lot. Especially when she started to date. She neglected me. Kind of disappointed with it but, I am okay. Got to face the fact after all. We didn't speak that often. And we didn't hang out. Our relationship went worse when we started to discuss of moving out of the uni. Gosh. It hurt me a lot. I tried my best to make things right again. Successfully done..! But there is still a scar hiding in my heart. That makes me feel awkward every time I had gatherings with my new house mates. Now, everything seems to be so fine but, me...

I will move in to my new house this Sunday. Gosh. I am so nervous. I started to imagine my life in the new environment. Will it be fun? I don't know. Too much of curiosity and imagination of it led me to the weird dream. I guess. It is just one of my assumptions.

I hope everything will go smoothly. I don't want to have weird dreams any more...

HappY FamilY...

Here.. Is my grandma and siblings...

I like this...
My Happy Family...

Delicious Cake Specially for Grandma....

"Ah Ma, Happy Ah Ma's Day!!!"

Last Sunday Was Mother's Day...

Mom couldn't make it... But, the celebration is still on... It is specially for my beloved Grandma. Grandma take cares of me since I was born. She feeds me and showers me with all the love she can give. She is like my mother. Understanding, loving, and caring... Though she loves to nag us, she always put us as her top priority. She sacrifices a lot to this family especially when Mom's not here. Prepare us our daily meal, do the laundries and etc... I am thankful and grateful that she is here. I am sure that my life wouldn't be so easy without her. I would like to take the opportunity in this special Mothers' Day to thank"AH MA" for all that she had done. I love you, Ah Ma.....

The Trios...

Presenting to you...
The TRIOS in Koh's Family...

Hmm... What do you think?? Do Re Mi??
The seniority is in the descending order from the left which starts from Ta Jie which is ME... And the middle one is the geli-geli Er Jie, Ms Susan... Last but not least, here comes the gila-gila San Jie, Ms Celine... =)

Oops... We have three different outlooks aren't we? And we have different personalities too...
Ta Jie:
A serious yet thoughtful person.
Er Jie:
A picky yet sensible person.
San Jie:
A indecisive yet caring person.

Well, of course there are a lot of things we have in common.
1. Shopping....!!!
2. Eating....!!!
3. Sleeping....!!!
4. Listening to songs and watching movies....!!!
5. Playing poker....!!!

Both of my sisters are important in my life. We depend to each other to support our broken family and to shower Jason with love. They are as though a pair of wings that keep me moving on. Without them, I am nothing.......

The Greatest Gift Of All...

Introducing to you... The greatest gift of Koh's Family... Mr Jason Koh!!!! Isn't he adorable? =) Jason is my youngest sibling and he is 13 years younger than me... Although we don look 100% alike, we still have some similarities... ;)
1. Physical look: We have round nose, we have fair complexion and... let me think again.. hehe.. ;)
2. Hobbies: We love to watch super heroes movies(eg: Spiderman, Batman, etc...), we listen to R&B songs( eg: Take You There by Sean Kingston, Apologize by One Republic Featuring Timbaland, etc...) and our favorite sports is swimming!!
Because he is the youngest of all, he gets the most attention from my family members... First will be our beloved Grandma, then Daddy and US (the trios)... He is the best in providing services such as: giving morning call (he is the most effective alarm clock) and doing household chores (sweeping the floor, preparing dinner). Once he makes any mistakes, there..... He gonna get scoldings from all of us... One by one... Haha... =)

He is everything to me... And, he is someone special in my life that I want to share with you...

Too much time...

Previously, in my second semester, I barely have time to write blogs. Too busy:
1. STUDIES:
I had tons of assignments, tutorials and presentations to be completed. Not forgetting the examinations. I had attended the French Course too. It made me even busier. Other than that, I think I had become a little too passive? I did not join the activities held in my com. And, I used to go home every week because of some ridiculous rumors about a "malay ghost" called "orang minyak" who will sneak into your room with black magic and it will steal away your precious belongings and, etc... Oh... I am sick of it. I rather spend my weekend with my family and have my own sweet time at home... =)

2. WORKS:
At the beginning, everything is fine... Until, some parties who don't really like the way I am. FINE then... I quit... ;(

3. RELATIONSHIPS:
...My family-
I spent a lot of great moments with my family. My relationships with my siblings improved a lot! =) Lesser arguments between us... ;) I enjoyed every time we hang out.
...My dearest boyfriend-
We don't have much time together. He is too busy with his life in his university. So am I. However, we still manage to meet every month. Though the time we spent together is limited, we are grateful enough. We trusted each other and made it through. Yeah... There still will be arguments between us but there always solutions. No worries... =)
...My good friends-
We don't work out. Everyone changes. It is fine with me. Just a little disappointed. Naaahh... I don't want to talk about it now. =( Maybe next time......

4. HOBBIES:
I totally abandoned my hobbies since second semester started! No time!

Now, I am sure that my blogs will be updated. Too much time... (Currently) Hehe... My 3rd semester is something new and I am looking forward to express it out all in here... =) Check it out... ;)

Starting with 3rd Semester...

In a blink of an eye, time had pass so quickly and now, I'm starting with 3rd semester in my university. I am supposed to attend my classes this week but guess what? I am having a 'vacation' at my boyfriend's university in Singapore. Great huh?

Today is the second day experiencing the life in this university and i don't really quite enjoy it. My throat is aching and I am not feeling well. I had a terrible sleep last night and got up very very early in the morning. *Just to play safe, in case there will be a spot check in the hostel. It is illegal for a girl to stay at a boy's room, but, I made it for the first night... ;)

The environment over here is so beautiful and tranquil. VERY VERY different from the local university in my hometown. The place is clean especially the men's toilet...! (Oops) Did i just admit that i went to the men's toilet? Hehe... (Yeah, I think I just did...) ;p They have very huge green field around here. The atmosphere is also quite good. Refreshing. But i am still so sleepy right now... Gosh...

Compared to my University, of course i have to admit that the university here is so much better. In both: externally and internally, they are good. Well, I did apply to this University last year when i received my STPM result. However, they only pick the best among the 'best'. Guess I am not good enough and not qualified to be in this university. It's fine...