Realising...

Each of us hears, but we never realise. Or cares to learn what it implies. A varying change to all the things that happen each day changes me a lot. Remember a moment about all the posts of my blog. It is something like a chemical thought that makes memories untrue. For this few months I have been in a tough time. Glad that it is going to end.

I start up the day with a smile but I always end it with a frown. Why am I feeling so down with my days? People said that I had been very emotional nowadays. Undeniably true. I could not tell you why I felt this way. Because I think I felt it everyday and that I could not help myself. I just watched myself making my whole life dull. I know I should open my eyes wide and look out at the big world.
Make my life happier and enjoy the great thing of life. I promise I will....

Sad for no reason..,.

Today I am sad for no reason. I tried to be good but yet I could not achieve what I need to do. My day just gone away. Besides being stuck between myself, I longed for his call so badly, sigh. (Not a sound from him today.) He must be busy, no time to call but I am sure that its not the time for me to fall. He does not know how I feel no time to tell him no phone call. Everything is because our time are different. His morning is my night where my night is his morning. It is as though we are so far apart. I have to wait for so long, so long for me to say what is in my heart when his away.

Time goes slow, I can not sleep, shame. Good night, my love I cant not say because he never rang this day because he is still in his wonderland.The only word I want to hear is simply: I love you

Some Proverbs to share....

The smart make plans,
The wise don't count on them.
Fools always show their hands,
While the careful hold hidden gems.
The tolerant neither consent nor condemn,
But the intolerant, their tide can't be stemmed.

Which I found it is very true!! It is life's little wisdom. =) Motivates me a lot..

Sheny wants November to end...

I'm bored...
My life is nothing but to study (only exam period)...
Feel bored of it yet stress to the max...
My life's becoming a virtual joke...
My pocket says RM5.00...
I can't earn more if I din study well...

Let me get to the bar
And relief!
Oh no.. I think he's going to be mad at me,
If I go without him...

I'm bored with this exam period...
Can't wait for December...

You really mean to me...

Sisters, I know you've been sad. When I was mad, I know you've been happy. When I knew you were faking a smile, I know you've been compromising. I asked you if something was wrong? But you said no everything is fine, I asked you if you needed me, but you said no I have someone else, I asked you if you needed my help, But you said no I've got it...

Sisters, you mean the world to me, when I really meant it. I know I'm not always there. But when I talk to you, you always tell me what I missed. I'm not happy that much sometimes, but when I'm with you makes my day shine. I'm mad when you use harsh words on me, but I'll never say I hate you, when I really truly do love you...

I really love you. You know that is true. You mean the world to me. I just to let you know that I'm always here for you. I'm here to let you know how you really mean to me...

Confession Part 2...

Perhaps what I am is false to them and I have no faith in what seems to be like in real life. Or perhaps they see what I seem to be and wonder. That I am facing myself conflict in judging people. But what can I do? Should I continue to pretend or pretend not to pretend? I am tired with those judgement. Life goes on. TOUGH, but be patient awhile, be patient, for it takes time to get used to one's space and life...

Confession Part 1...

They were so nice to me. They made me so happy but I was living in a "dark secret". My dark secret was pure bad. I never understood with no REAL friends. Sometimes I found myself thinking about how real they are, how they take advantage on me and then it hit me badly. =( They were so obviously "using" me. I couldn't even say anything. What am I suppose to do then?? Hatred was all I was feeling.

My bestest friends...

dear friends,
how's your life?
it's been a while since I heard you laughed,
I, sometimes, dream of us so clearly,
our past days are memorable and sweet,
the things keep our memory books so full!
the things we left unchanged are so many... =)

dear friends,
our days, our times,
that we used to spend together,
do you still have that memories?
we live our lives now, differently,
I wish all the best for you!
*Hugs and kisses*

THAT mood

For some reason I am always just in THAT mood.THAT mood that I just can’t seem to define. It makes it hard to express myself. I just can’t explain. It gives me some terrible thoughts. I can’t stand to think these awful thoughts. Always worry. I guess I am too tensed. Gosh...

Goodbye 20...

Birthdays come and go...
Which means, another day, another year.
What is it to fear?


As a women, we are like a fine wine. We will improve as time goes on. (Am I improving??)

Is age just a number? (Oh no. I'm getting older!)

I simply believe it don’t rule us. There’s so much more to achieve although the years turn so fast and time can’t be stopped. (Hopefully I can achieve SOMETHING before I turn 22...)

Little Celebration.. =)

Can't believe I am 21..

Thanks to my dearest sisters and brother for the sweet little celebration. No party, no surprise, no presents... That don't matters to me. =) YOU are all I need!! Dear Susan, Celine and Jason, not forgetting you, bin bin and sayang. Thanks for cheering me up during my birthday!

Forgive Myself.

"Tragedy happens,
We hurt people,
People hurt us,
The great power,
Is when you look at your reflection,
And are able to forgive yourself"

"I am confused. I had put myself into a conflict. I am lost. I can't get over this." This is exactly how I felt this morning. Depressed. Till I found this quote by Wanelisa Albert. I feel a slap in my heart. I was too selfish to look things in such negative ways. I was the one creating the self conflict and eventually make a mess of my great day. Why is it so complicated? I rather don't want to know. I think I just need the strength to forgive myself. I know I can do it!

Some people are you...

Some people care about you, some people don’t care much. Some people make fun of you and walk away. Some people just walk past in your life, some people will hand you presents on your birthday. Some people might give you a pat on the back.

Some people you love might don't know how to appreciate it. Some people you don’t know treat you better than some people that you know. Some people I notice is being more like a hypocrite. Some people never notice you. But there is some people that always look.

Some people are other people...

Some people are you...

Inspired by Annie...

Hope is a good thing??

I hope my family get a long like they used too,
I hope my grandma stays in my life,
I hope my dreams come true,
I hope me wanting to hope is not dumb,
I hope the right thing to do in life...

I hope who I am with doesn't hurt me,
I hope SHE will always be my best friend,
I hope HE doesn't ever leave me,
I hope God helps find away for us to be together,

I hope my family is happy,
I hope my friends are happy and thankful
for what they have in life,
I hope everyone learns how good is to hope
and pray for things you need.
I hope everyone thankful and glad to be here
in this world...

Another Stressful Day...

I shut my door and put my head down,
I sigh and I turn away,
I wish someone would just understand what I am trying to say...

It's just an emotion without words to explain,
Sometimes I just need to not worry much,
because I know I can make it through...

I'm not sad neither nor I'm depressed,
I'm just stressed!
I'll say it again and again and again...

Heart breaking...

Empty inside,
Don't know why it happened,
No feelings inside,
Don't know what to say...

Her WORDS were hurtful...
I can't do anything...
I'll remember it forever...

Depress...
Disappointed...
I'm giving up on her...!

Heart breaking?
Normal part of my life,
Hurts the same each time,
Never ending...

Warm welcome...

Last week, was the greatest holiday of all. =) I was having my sweet time with my dearest boyfriend at NTU, Singapore. I enjoyed having our private time chatting and fooling around. Though he was suppose to be busy for his projects and preparation for his upcoming quizzes, he still put me as his priority. Never hesitate to spend his precious time with me.
=) Appreciate that, sayang! Muaks* Muaks*

Besides spending all the time with him, I also manage to gather again with a bunch of my ex-schoolmates who are taking their degrees in the NTU. We had steamboat in Kenny's room. That was cool!

Great time with you all!

After enjoying so much during the Hari Raya week, now I am ready to get my ass off to work. It should be the most critical time as my final examination is just one month away! Oh my God...

My Roomie...

After being room mates for almost 5 months, I began to understand her well. We do share some similar hobbies. We love musics and are addicted to shopping! Well, during this semester, I had been spending most of my time with her. In fact, we do most of the daily routine together. Study, cook, eat, shop and even sleep together!! =)

What can I say about her?? She is exceptionally brilliant, spiritual and kind. She tends to have a more finely tuned intuition, sixth sense or extrasensory ability to perceive others feelings (which I noticed). I am really glad that I have a sincere friend like her. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Thanks for your existence in my life. =)

Whoa...

Wow... Without noticing, I actually had abandoned my dearest blog for more than 20 days. Could not imagine how busy I had been for the past few weeks. Let me list it out again: Faculty night, studies, assignments and works!

Tired to the MAX!!
How about giving myself a chance to breathe?

Go for a vacation or whatever...

Just get me out of here...!

HoMe...

The struggle for survival was long and tough. Two weeks of torturing by the ill emotion in me and finally now, I am back to a place where I belong... Home...
Being home is the most wonderful thing on earth! But, why? I am not happy...